the past two weeks has been very eye-opening for me. i realized that time is slipping away and i have been in denial about it for a long time. this has been the result of my tendency to procrastinate on many things in life, including starting a family.
i went to my endocrinologist on last week and got the results that my thyroid is still a little overactive, but i have the green light again to start trying. yes, fate, our destiny, everything is up to God in the end, but at the same time - but we don't want to be like the person who drowned because he passed on several lifeboats saying that God will save him.
maybe these pressures are everyday for a lot of people, but i hate pressure. the pressure to look young, get slim, get ahead at work, get pregnant, make delicious dinners, have a very clean and orderly home. i just want to relax, watch tv, sleep and hang out with the hubby and my dogs.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
had a pretty busy weekend.
saturday (no workout) - bod pod testing. good news, i weighed a pound less than expected, bad news, i am have 29 percent body fat *sigh* to celebrate, we went to a brunch place recommended by my yoga friend and had champagne cocktail to wash down my chinese chicken salad.
afterwards, the hubby and i went to my friend's wedding in PV. it was a gorgeous wedding over the cliffs of PV, i saw a bunch of old friends (ironically from my old church) and some UCI people. i ate way too much and had more champange cocktails to celebrate.
sunday (DL workout and 30 min cardio) - went to temecula for my friend sand's shower for baby #3. was extremely tired and stressed from talk about babies and having tubes tied. every single person there was a mother of at least two children. ate way too much again. and went to a family dinner in monterey park. i have no idea what it was, maybe seeing my family just made me feel like a kid again, but i was so happy to see them all. and of course, ate too much again.
so today, i have a headache from all the champagne cocktails and mass quantities of carbs and fats i had this weekend. to remedy the damage, i'm back on my diet of protein shakes and drinking green tea. i may have chinese for lunch with my coworker who took a few days off because of her mom's passing. tonight a definite, low carb dinner with the hubby.
also, to help turn back the hands of time on my face, i am actually thinking about doing some laser resurfacing - fraxel and possibly other things
saturday (no workout) - bod pod testing. good news, i weighed a pound less than expected, bad news, i am have 29 percent body fat *sigh* to celebrate, we went to a brunch place recommended by my yoga friend and had champagne cocktail to wash down my chinese chicken salad.
afterwards, the hubby and i went to my friend's wedding in PV. it was a gorgeous wedding over the cliffs of PV, i saw a bunch of old friends (ironically from my old church) and some UCI people. i ate way too much and had more champange cocktails to celebrate.
sunday (DL workout and 30 min cardio) - went to temecula for my friend sand's shower for baby #3. was extremely tired and stressed from talk about babies and having tubes tied. every single person there was a mother of at least two children. ate way too much again. and went to a family dinner in monterey park. i have no idea what it was, maybe seeing my family just made me feel like a kid again, but i was so happy to see them all. and of course, ate too much again.
so today, i have a headache from all the champagne cocktails and mass quantities of carbs and fats i had this weekend. to remedy the damage, i'm back on my diet of protein shakes and drinking green tea. i may have chinese for lunch with my coworker who took a few days off because of her mom's passing. tonight a definite, low carb dinner with the hubby.
also, to help turn back the hands of time on my face, i am actually thinking about doing some laser resurfacing - fraxel and possibly other things
Friday, September 26, 2008
friday friday
Perricone's Superfoods
- I always love articles where eating things are encouraged.
Yesterday was a weird day for a lot of people in the office - my boss and another one of my coworker's mother had passed away within hours of each other (not related, each parent was older. one died from cancer, the other from just old age). My office twin earlier that morning was talking about how she had a terrible nightmare that both her parents had drowned and how she woke up crying. Just so weird how there has been a feeling of terrible loss all around the office.
That feeling also prompted me to call people in the morning. I called my mom to check up on her and my ailing grandmother (who is doing better for the time being), two friends who I've neglected to call back and also had shabu with my yoga friend. So yesterday for me was a great day of reconnecting. Having shabu at night also put a bump in my workout plan. Its so hard not to become obsessed with going to the gym. Once my fitness routine is set, I am always nervous that one day of not working out will be the start of my digression.
Anyway, today is also the day before BOD POD. My guess is that my body fat percentage is at 25%. The last time I had it done was a 24HF where they measured me at 28%. I have gained more muscle and lost a little bit of fat since then, but we'll see. For our BL loser challenge, I've lost 3.5% of my body weight since the beginning of the month.
- I always love articles where eating things are encouraged.
Yesterday was a weird day for a lot of people in the office - my boss and another one of my coworker's mother had passed away within hours of each other (not related, each parent was older. one died from cancer, the other from just old age). My office twin earlier that morning was talking about how she had a terrible nightmare that both her parents had drowned and how she woke up crying. Just so weird how there has been a feeling of terrible loss all around the office.
That feeling also prompted me to call people in the morning. I called my mom to check up on her and my ailing grandmother (who is doing better for the time being), two friends who I've neglected to call back and also had shabu with my yoga friend. So yesterday for me was a great day of reconnecting. Having shabu at night also put a bump in my workout plan. Its so hard not to become obsessed with going to the gym. Once my fitness routine is set, I am always nervous that one day of not working out will be the start of my digression.
Anyway, today is also the day before BOD POD. My guess is that my body fat percentage is at 25%. The last time I had it done was a 24HF where they measured me at 28%. I have gained more muscle and lost a little bit of fat since then, but we'll see. For our BL loser challenge, I've lost 3.5% of my body weight since the beginning of the month.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
i'm heading over the gym right now to do my squat/push-up/rows/split squats/jack prone-knife series. i'll eventually start mixing in new moves - i've already started incorporating bulgarian split squats as well as split squats with the bar.
i met up with my friend yesterday who was interesting in learning more about the weight training program that i was doing. this is my friend who i lived with for one summer while her husband, then boyfriend, was in cambridge. we lived off of one piece of toast for breakfast, then edamame for lunch and tuna salad and a couple of saltines for dinner. we also dropped our classes and pretty much worked out all day -- did two step classes in a row and went swimming in the afternoons. sometimes i would even go running in the morning. at night we would go out, go dancing somewhere. to say the least, we dropped tons of weight that summer. i think that was the time i was at my thinnest, a size three. she was a size zero. we had this unspoken competition of who could be the thinnest. we were so deprived of food, i would dream of things like carrot sticks.
anyway, we would always talk about the summer of 1995 like it would never happen again. i'm hoping to reach a reasonable goal without screwing up my metabolism and without so much deprivation. i weighed myself this morning and i've lost somewhere btw 3-5 lbs since the start of our group competition. this is especially encouraging since i've lost this weight while strength training and while enduring some pretty stressful times at work. stress has derailed any eating or exercise program i've done in the past. this time around, i'm just working through it.
i met up with my friend yesterday who was interesting in learning more about the weight training program that i was doing. this is my friend who i lived with for one summer while her husband, then boyfriend, was in cambridge. we lived off of one piece of toast for breakfast, then edamame for lunch and tuna salad and a couple of saltines for dinner. we also dropped our classes and pretty much worked out all day -- did two step classes in a row and went swimming in the afternoons. sometimes i would even go running in the morning. at night we would go out, go dancing somewhere. to say the least, we dropped tons of weight that summer. i think that was the time i was at my thinnest, a size three. she was a size zero. we had this unspoken competition of who could be the thinnest. we were so deprived of food, i would dream of things like carrot sticks.
anyway, we would always talk about the summer of 1995 like it would never happen again. i'm hoping to reach a reasonable goal without screwing up my metabolism and without so much deprivation. i weighed myself this morning and i've lost somewhere btw 3-5 lbs since the start of our group competition. this is especially encouraging since i've lost this weight while strength training and while enduring some pretty stressful times at work. stress has derailed any eating or exercise program i've done in the past. this time around, i'm just working through it.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
i just got a message on my facebook saying that some of my classmates want to have a reunion. i took a look at their pictures and realized that collectively we're getting older. i remember people joking around saying that "man, we're old" or "we're not young anymore" and you know what? we really aren't. i think in the last year, i've aged quite a bit...last few years i was dealing with the whole reality of death and losing loved ones...now i'm dealing with the aging mortality-thing and coming to grips that i am losing my youth. shit!
the hot asian girl in ASB has become a chubby mother of one and now an aspiring elementary school principal. the blonde drill team captain...tall thin beautiful is a very normal looking woman who is maybe 20 lbs overweight and almost unrecognizable. i realized that i had gotten pregnant in high school, my kid would be an adult this coming year. i hope i don't sound mean or snobbish, but omg, we're getting to be middle-aged and i don't like it. it was only this past weekend when i told my friend that we didn't belong at clubs anymore...i think that revelation only came recently.
GAWD, hopefully i will accept this whole aging thing soon. i don't want to spend the rest of my thirties fretting over wrinkles and age!
the hot asian girl in ASB has become a chubby mother of one and now an aspiring elementary school principal. the blonde drill team captain...tall thin beautiful is a very normal looking woman who is maybe 20 lbs overweight and almost unrecognizable. i realized that i had gotten pregnant in high school, my kid would be an adult this coming year. i hope i don't sound mean or snobbish, but omg, we're getting to be middle-aged and i don't like it. it was only this past weekend when i told my friend that we didn't belong at clubs anymore...i think that revelation only came recently.
GAWD, hopefully i will accept this whole aging thing soon. i don't want to spend the rest of my thirties fretting over wrinkles and age!
Monday, September 15, 2008
i'm having one of those days when you wake up unmotivated and tired and more tired thinking about all the stuff you have to do. i don't want to go workout, but maybe that's the only thing that will "jazz" things up...that and shopping are my quick serotonin boosters. the later is a very dangerous habit but at least it doesn't involve calories.
i've dropped a pound and a half since our biggest loser contest started last week. i gotta e-mail ed to let her know that i'm still in the game even though we haven't established a google shared document to note down our progress.
A sample of how my workout has been:
DL 105/6/3
SS 75/10/4
OP 22.5/10/4
LP 60/10/4
JK 25-30 w 30 PU on ball in between
30 cardio after
i've dropped a pound and a half since our biggest loser contest started last week. i gotta e-mail ed to let her know that i'm still in the game even though we haven't established a google shared document to note down our progress.
A sample of how my workout has been:
DL 105/6/3
SS 75/10/4
OP 22.5/10/4
LP 60/10/4
JK 25-30 w 30 PU on ball in between
30 cardio after
Sunday, September 7, 2008
that damn scale
To kick off our biggest loser challenge, I decided to hop on the scale after avoiding it for more than six months. Deep down inside, I knew I weighed the same since starting my hardcore agressive weight training program. I don't know whether it has anything to do with my age or maybe my thyroid, but unless something really drastic happens to me, my weight stays pretty much the same. My pants and other articles of clothing are looser, but for some reason, the weight stays on. I was trying to look up articles and stats that would make me feel better about my weight...like female bodybuilders who are 5'1" and are in my weight class, but all I found were weird porn sites.
Looking on the bright side. I do have weight to lose, since the contest is based on percentage weight loss. Even though, I have been making progress and have been extremely agressive in my diet and exercise - I know that there is still more room for improvement. I just don't want the scale to derail the hard work I've been building the past few months. Also, in the back of my mind, I know there is no way that I won't lose weight if I keep this up. Eventually if I keep this up, I could drop another two sizes...THERE should be no way at that point that I would still be the same weight. No matter how much muscle mass I put on. My ideal weight is 120. That is 14 percent weight loss that I need to achieve. Let's see how close I can get.
Looking on the bright side. I do have weight to lose, since the contest is based on percentage weight loss. Even though, I have been making progress and have been extremely agressive in my diet and exercise - I know that there is still more room for improvement. I just don't want the scale to derail the hard work I've been building the past few months. Also, in the back of my mind, I know there is no way that I won't lose weight if I keep this up. Eventually if I keep this up, I could drop another two sizes...THERE should be no way at that point that I would still be the same weight. No matter how much muscle mass I put on. My ideal weight is 120. That is 14 percent weight loss that I need to achieve. Let's see how close I can get.
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