thailand in a week and a half

scary! i feel so unprepared. this past weekend was pretty busy - went to spin class on saturday and helped a friend move a fifty lb wedding cake in the afternoon and hung out with some of my old college friends (their kids and husbands) at night. i love my friends dearly, but always get tremendously stressed out after seeing them. i think seeing them reminds me of how different my life is...no kids, babies, and LV bags. i gave my friend a gift certificate to target for her birthday. my other friend gaver her chanel crystal earrings and a nordstroms gift certificate...i cringed hoping she would still like my gift anyway. i realized that i have barely any room for such luxuries, even buying a latex bed for 2k is waaay to spendy for me. getting an LV or chanel bag is totally not on my radar. out of curiosity, i decided to google the earrings to see how much they were...$400. yow.
also i got an earful about how im pretty much behind the curve on the child thing and should probably go see a RE again. that whole process was so such a nightmare, i am not surprised how low the success rate is for pregnancies. the funny thing is that i don't think of myself as "challenged" and i do believe that it will happen someday - just maybe not in desired timeframe. i pray that my mom is not too old to enjoy grandmotherhood when it happens, and that i'm healthy enough to raise my children way into adulthood to see them become parents as well.
anyway, one great thing that came out of hanging out with my friends on saturday, is that my friend's husband is going through a graduate program at uci. i may check into it - supposedly anyone who works for the university gets half off tuition. i don't know how im going to cram in having kids and trying for graduate school but im thinking about it.

its a little more than a week till thailand. fortunately this past weekend in vegas didn't do as much damage as i thought it would. my appetite fortunately, is not as huge as it used to be. don't get me wrong, i still love it all...my new love, butter cake...but its just not as crazy. the true test will be the holidays. thanksgiving will be a good test. i just love everything about that holiday.
anyway, i've been doing a lot of introspection lately. there have been a lot of funny changes in my body this year because of weight loss, hormonal fluctuation, etc. i was asked recently by a colleague why i decided to lose weight and get in shape. what's the urgency? some of it is vanity. i know that i don't have that many years left in my youth, why not make the most of it and slow the hands of time down? especially during this time period where the next year may bring change with seriously trying to get pregnant. i know my body will go through more changes, i want to be at least to be able to get closer to my goal before it happens, so i can say i did it. i haven't made much of difference in weight, but i have managed to squeeze into a size 4 dress with a belt for halloween. i was supposed to be joan from mad men. lol. i don't think i have ever worn a dress with a belt in my life.